English 101 for Sportscasters

When you are “on the air,” every second --every syllable-- counts. So does precision. Ditto accuracy. There's a time for local color. But it's always time to speak correctly.
“Full-court press” does not mean aggressive. Quite the opposite. Few basketball defenses are more tiring than the full court press. When it's done effectively, the OTHER TEAM’s offense will feel exhausted, too. Get it? Defensive!

Speaking of which, the emphasis in both offense and defense is on the last syllable. It’s not “OFFense” and “DEfense” but “offENSE” and “defFENSE” --as in the U.S. Department of Defense or “His offense was but a minor infraction.”

“Track record” describes what “Man-o-War” had --what NASCAR drivers have. For the rest of us, a simple “record” will do very well, thank you. F-L-A-S-H: I just ran across this quote in a daily newspaper by the Director of Planning and Development for a fast-growing suburban community:

"I just think the track record is the track record, and the track record speaks for itself."

Will someone please help this man get his foot out of his mouth!

Plural initials and acronyms are problematic. If it's a true acronym, pronounced as a word --radar, laser & snafu-- than when you have more than one of them, an "s" certainly fits on the end. Ditto initials where it's the final initial or word that is plural. But in RBI, for example, it's the "R" --for run-- that is either singular or plural, so I wouldn't pluralize the initials. For example, "Jones had an RBI last night, while Smith had three RBI." When in doubt, re-cast your sentence. But while I'm on the subject of initials, it is never --say it again: N-E-V-E-R-- "A.T.M. machines" or "M.V.P. player" or anything like that. Your comments and examples on this subject are particularly appreciated.

“On the clock” is O.K. to use when indicating that someone is at that very moment being paid an hourly wage, or that, as with a taxi, “the meter is running.” HOWEVER, with a deep bow to Frank Deford of S.I. and N.P.R., it has no place in sports. Why say “There’s two-and-a-half-minutes left on the clock” when a simple “There’s two-and-a-half minutes left to play”? Where else would the two-and-a-half minutes be? On the thermometer? On the fuel guage? In my wallet? Think before engaging mouth. Or better yet, LISTEN to yourself.

“Guys” has overrun us. Until recently it was a slang term for a small group of males, as in “Guys and Dolls.” Maybe “guys” as opposed to “gals.” An elementary-school teacher might say “You boys line up there; you girls line up here.” But a high-school teacher would probably say “You guys stand there; you gals stand here.” So could it be that in search of Title 9 gender equality everyone became “guys”? There seems to be a shortage of acceptable terms for females older than 10, when they seem to stop being “girls.” Some cringe at “ladies.” Some find it awkward to use “women.” Is that why we’ve fallen back on the short and neutral “guys”? Or is it the “Northernization” of you-all? Whatever it is, “you guys” is absolutely unnecessary and sometimes inappropriate. When the waitress in the diner asks “do you guys want more coffee?” it’s merely unnecessary. (After all, “you” can refer to any number of people.) But when the waitress in a white-linen-tablecloth restaurant asks “how do you guys want your filet mignon?” it’s inappropriate at best. “You” will do 99% of the time.